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DVD Exit to Eden
Garry Marshall, the man behind Pretty Woman, has made two movies here. One is based on Anne Rice's erotic novel of a fantasy island where dreams are fulfilled and sexuality is open to all, led by a congenial dominatrix (Dana Delany) and a glowing new recruit (Paul Mercurio of Strictly Ballroom). The other is a farcical comedy-action movie, which is what you saw in the ads. Savoy Pictures must have been unsure of to how to market the movie, and they pushed the secondary action of pop songs, needless narration, and even a few noticeable dubs. Amazingly, though, the film works by the end as a guilty pleasure, thanks to the four principals. Delany finally ripples on the big screen, Rosie O'Donnell has her first confident work since A League of Their Own, Dan Aykroyd becomes a comic mainstay, and best of all is Mercurio. The brooding stud is a delight, and is sure to launch a million fans as the loverboy who finds a sweet love story. Agreeable stuff if you really want Rice's erotic novels turned into cute TV-ish comedies. With, as always, Hector Elizondo. --Doug Thomas
I truthfully believe that I am a generally good person, even though I have never been very religious or had much faith in a God. That is until I saw "Exit to Eden". Why, you ask, has "Exit to Eden" sparked such an epiphany to my faith. Well, please allow me this chance and I will articulate. You see, upon completion of this film I was given undisputable proof that the devil truly does exist. Now if there, in fact, really is a Lucifer. Then that, in turn, proves that there really is a God, and if this movie is any indication of the wrath he has in store for us when he returns then I, for one, definitely want to get on his good side before that grand event.
I was confused at first because the DVD jewel case, at my local Blockbuster clearly said that this film was a Dramatic Comedy. Once I returned home and put the film in my DVD player I was led to believe that I was watching a horror movie instead. I thought this because through a series of howls and moans, a bloodcurdling character was introduced. This character was so petrifying that it made Jason and Freddy seem like Siegfried and Roy in comparison. In fact, this movie was so disturbing that certain scenes of it should have been used on the tape, from the movie "The Ring" to add to the creepiness of it. I asked myself, could the person that rented this film before me have mistakenly put the wrong disc into the "Exit to Eden" jewel case? That, in fact, turned out not to be the circumstance. It turns out that the horrifying character previously mentioned was none other than Rosie O'Donnell in a dominatrix outfit, and the howls I heard were the creaks and squeals of every single last fiber, in that outfit trying to surmount the strenuous and unfeasible burden of holding together. Somehow physics and the normal breaking points of the fabrics used were defiyed long enough to get in the required takes.
Let me ask you this. Do you find anything wrong with the following statement: "Rosie O'Donnell in a dominatrix outfit", because the casting director obviously did not find anything wrong with it. I can't even begin to contemplate what kind of misbegotten thought process he used to narrow down his final selection to Rosie O'Donnell. I just can't come to grips with the fact that he chose her out of the vast abundance of other Hollywood actresses, most of which, whom are not grossly obese and globe like, to play the role in this movie. Now that I think about it, calling Rosie O'Donnell grossly obese is being very untruthfully kind. Being grossly obese is actually one of her weight loss goals which she will never attain. The NFA (National Film Association) should revoke the casting directors' license for making such an appalling casting choice. Just to be on the safe side he shouldn't even be allowed to cast a vote or even a fishing line for that matter.
This film is based on Anne Rice's very well written erotic novel by the same name. It's a shame that they couldn't capture this in the translation to film. In fact the writers and director (Garry Marshall) acted similar to the body's digestive track. I say this because they took something good (Anne Rice's novel) just like the body takes something good (a Krispy Kream doughnut) and turned it into a steaming pile of $hit.
Dan Aykroyd and Rosie O'Donnell play a pair of undercover detectives that follow a couple of diamonds smugglers onto an erotic fantasy island resort. Rosie O'Donnell's' character was suppose to have a few actions sequences in the film, but they were ultimately cut because they couldn't find a man butch enough to act as her stunt double. Throughout the whole movie I kept waiting for the other three Ghostbusters to join Dan Aykroyd and reenact the closing scene, of their first movie, with Rosie portraying the role of the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man, but alas it did not end up happening. It's a shame because some ion blasting action would have been a very welcomed part to this movie witch cost 150 million dollars to make yet lacked a single special effect. The fact that this movie did not have any CGI or even a single explosion made me wonder just where this 150 million dollars was spent, so I took it upon myself to do a little research. I found out that only 30 million dollars was spent on making the actual movie itself and the remaining 120 million dollars was spent mainly in two other areas. The first of the two areas was for insurance. Apparently the insurance provider claimed that Rosie's' dominatrix outfit was a safety hazard due to the fact that a button or a zipper could erupt at any moment thus projecting shrapnel into one of the cast or crew, and because of that fact, they charged a ridiculously high amount to provide insurance coverage for this film. The second area that used the largest percentage of the budget was the Kraft Food Service. In between takes Rosie would devour so much food that it would make a fully grown Grizzly Bear preparing for a winter long hibernation, look like Calista Flockheart having a small snack on The Richard Simmons Deal A Meal Plan. They had to up security because Rosie had such an assortment of foods and snacks in her movie trailer that several people mistakenly entered it thinking it was a Convenient Store, and started perusing various items that they intended on purchasing.
Men that are not interested in a life of impotence should steer clear of this movie. Rosie O'Donnell has the same effect, on the male reproductive system, as a blistering Hot Tub and a pair of tight fitting underpants. You know how in the Viagra commercials they warn that if you have an erceti0n for over a period of 12 hours you should consult a doctor. Well if this does happen and you do go see a doctor they take you into a private room and show you clips of this movie to resolve the problem.
It turns out that not just the movie was bad but the special features on the disc were bad as well. I listened to the actors audio commentary but all I heard was a constant crackling. I naturally assumed that there was something wrong with the audio track but I continued to listen just in case it fixed itself further into the movie. About half way through the commentary the crackling stopped. I then heard a manly voice, which appeared to be Rosie say "Hey, do we have any more of these Cheetoes and Honey Mustard Trail Mix?" and then shortly after the crackling continued once again.
The grisly image of Rosie O'Donnell's exposed body as been burnt into my mind permanently. The sad part is that the wardrobe they selected for her was a very concealing Matrix like leather outfit with a long flowing trench coat, but the abyss of here folds engulfed the majority of it leaving behind only what we saw in the film. I realized that there was only one way to get this nauseating image out of my mind for good. So I slowly walked to my DVD player, ejected the disc, and broke it into four pieces. I took one of the jagged pieces and held it to my right wrist and I was prepared to go on with what would surely rid me of this terror, until I remembered about my new found fear of God and how he so frowned upon suicide. So I apprehensively put down the serrated fragment of disc and was forced to continue living with this haunting image etched in my brain, for the rest of my days. I wrote this review in hopes of perhaps saving even just one person from ending up with the same fate as mine. So please heed this warning and pass this movie onto the bag ladies and the Canadians.
Awesomely Sexy Comedy
It's hard to fathom all the outrage and controversy over "Exit To Eden", a great sexy comedy that actually lives up to its billing on both counts. For the record, this a fun, at times farcical (in the very best sense of the word - over-the-top humor based on unlikely but highly comedic incidents) Fantasy - what they call in publishing circles a 'bedtime story for adults' - and it's not - repeat Not - a sadomasochistic film (I hardly think a few quick flicks with a hairbrush counts as being on par with the really depraved stuff).
A pair of detectives (well played by Dan Akroyd and Rosie O'Donnell) end up going undercover on an island resort after a cartel of thieves. The island itself is a 'sexual paradise' type getaway reigned over by a 'dominatrix' (although quite a softie of one; as noted this is fun fantasy and not a gritty serious drama) played by the magnificent Dana Delaney. Guests to the island can opt to be a pseudo-master or pseudo-slave with the other guests. For all the wild nature of the concept there's a lot of welcome tenderness and characters really falling in love, along with all the welcome unabashed sexuality and exposure (the number of gorgeous girls in here is perhaps second only to "Dream Trap", possibly the sexiest movie of all time [And STILL without a DVD release! Grrrr...:( ], with a giddy air and the best themes of a caper comedy. If you're lucky enough to get married this is a movie to be taken along on the honeymoon to act out scenes in the privacy of your own honeymoon cabin or suite. Take along a couple of DiVinyls CDs for the soundtrack too (they're not on the film soundtrack, but my goodness they should have been. Talk about fitting in well). Romantic, silly, sweet, sexy and funny, well-done in every way.
I really enjoyed this movie for personal reasons
The issues the dominatrix had were very much my own for many years. She had been hurt by some men in her past, and came to believe that by being in control, she would be safe from hurt (as the owner of the resort told her.)
But then, she falls in love and panicks after overhearing victims of domestic abuse in a police station...she begins to fear that if she gives up control, even to a good man, she might be unsafe again. Rosie O'Donnell teaches her that this is not the case.
In one scene, Rosie asks her if she has ever given up control yet still felt safe, and she evaded the question. In the end, she learns that yes, some men can be trusted after all. A beautiful lesson, one so many seem to have missed.
And as for those who made negative comments on Rosie O'Donnell's body, I think she looked very sexy and attractive...but I do think it would be nice if she were a little taller. But then, I've never found skinny women or men to be attractive...I like both men and women with some extra "meat" on them!
Now when I say boring I don't mean it isn't realistic I have no doubt that women do talk this much about sex when there alone but since they all seem so unlikable (with the exception of Olivia D'Abo who plays the lover of one of the women who reunite in this film), I didn't care about what happen to them. Matter of fact, I would be so happy if something bad happen. More Info about this DVD Director(s): Julianna Lavin DVD Release Date: Released the 15 June 2004 Usually ships in 24 hours
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I still have not recieved my DVD. Please send it to me so I can review.
Thanks Lisa Van Gieson More Info about this DVD Actor(s): Ashley Judd - Mira Sorvino Director(s): Tim Fywell DVD Release Date: Released the 14 September 2004 Usually ships in 24 hours
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Just finished watching this after having it for about a year or so and finally getting around to it. Well, I guess I could've waited even longer because it wasn't very good or really worth seeing at any particular time. I've seen worse so I was still able to sit through it and besides, it's loaded with typical nondescript 1980's music by unknown acts (at least here in the States, probably), bad acting, bad photography, bad special effects, bad writing and bad directing, so watching it was a kind of excercise in sadomasochistic patience. If you're a connoisseur of bad films then this one will certainly delight you. More Info about this DVD Director(s): Nico Mastorakis DVD Release Date: Released the 14 January 2003 Usually ships in 24 hours
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A love letter to movies (and the French new wave of the 1960s in particular), Bernardo Bertolucci's The Dreamers starts with a 1968 riot outside of a Parisian movie palace then burrows into an insular love triangle. Matthew (Michael Pitt, Hedwig and the Angry Inch), an expatriate American student, bonds with a twin brother and sister, Isabelle (Eva Green) and Theo (Louis Garrel), over their mutual love of film--they not only quote lines of dialogue, they act out small bits and challenge each other to name the cinematic source. Matthew suspects the twins of incest, but that doesn't stop him from falling into his own intimacies with Isabelle. As the threesome becomes threatened, Paris succumbs to student riots. The Dreamers aspires to be kinky, but the results are more... More Info about this DVD Director(s): Bernardo Bertolucci DVD Release Date: Released the 13 July 2004 Usually ships in 24 hours
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Kate Beckinsale plays an art restorer. While working on her current commission, she discovers a previously hidden inscription, which points to a murder conspiracy 500 years ago. As she tries to solve the mystery, whose key lies in the paintings depiction of a chess game, people around her, connected in one way or another to the painting, begin to die. Is the past reaching out to wreak vengeance on the present? And who is the Black Queen?
I won't tell you, except to say that the answer is painfully obvious. Based on The Flanders Panel, a novel by Arturo Perez-Reverte, author of The Ninth Gate, this is a much less successful film than Roman Polanski's effort. The premise is intriguing, but the resolution is deeply disappointing. Beckinsale's character, furthermore, is so... More Info about this DVD Director(s): Jim McBride DVD Release Date: Released the 16 March 2004 Usually ships in 24 hours
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