DVD Snake Island

"Snake Island" stars William Katt, of "Greatest American Hero" fame (feel free to make your own 'Believe it or Not' joke), some black British girl, a generic couple of newlyweds, and a guy who at times looks like Robert DeNiro and a woman who at times looks like Terry Farrell. Oh, and a guy who seems to be a hybrid of John Rhys-Davies and Peter Jackson (I could never seem to decide which of the two of them he reminded me the most of).

Our cast becomes stranded on an island conveniently crawling with snakes (good for us, as I was rooting for the snakes anyway), and nearly the first hour of this film an infurating sequence of the snakes not being noticed/almost attacking someone/someone thinking their being attacked by a snake when it's really just an innocent misunderstanding or someone playing a joke on them. Just like the boy who cried wolf, though this time the movie is playing it with us. And believe me, it gets OLD. I wouldn't have minded one or two before things started to get ugly and the snakes began their all-out assult, but to have to put up with nearly an hour of this, is really just frustrating. Any interest you might have had for what was happening will really be killed while you wait for the first body to drop (this is of course not counting the death scene during the pre-credits sequence, where the man we see running in terror could be looking for an airline sickness bag for all we know... there's not a snake to be seen). At least the credits music was kind of pleasant, if inappropriately upbeat.

I do have something good to say about this movie once we're about an hour and ten minutes into it or so... After all that waiting (and believe me, it feels like forever), we FINALLY find ourselves in the movie I was expecting this to be from the very beginning. Sadly, the moment doesn't last. If 1.3 were a possible rating here at Amazon, that's what I'd give this.

Some of the more odd things about this movie should be mentioned, I suppose. But their not odd in an interesting way, their odd in a "What the heck did they think they were doing" kind of way... didn't they stop to think that people would actually be watching this? Two things, I have in mind, specifically: during a party scene where we're subjected to some horrendously awful techno-dance music, we have snakes dancing along with it (that really came out of nowhere), using a state-of-the-art effects method that involves playing back and forth the same second of footage over and over again in a continuous loop, allowing the snake to "move" back and forth to the beat. The second happens about fifteen minutes from the end, when a pair of cobras, while sneeking up on the Terry Ferrell-look-alike, begin to talk and sing. Yes, you read that right, TALK and SING. As if this were a kids puppet show. And they don't even speak in hissy, snake-like voices... they have these deep, fake-British accents. If this film had been a spoof, that's one thing, but as it seemed to try to take itself seriously up to that point (aside from the dancing snake bit I mentioned already)... "We hate people, yes we do, As far as we're concerned they're just something to chew." I mean, what were the guys in production drinking that day? This scene leads to another scene toward the end, when William Katt's character looks up and finds himself face-to-face with a cobra ("Raiders of the Lost Ark" Well of Souls-style). The snake stares at him, he stares at the snake, the snake opens its mouth... and as this happens following the infamous "singing snake" scene, I wasn't expecting the cobra to spit or strike, as I imagine we're supposed to... I was expecting the snake to shout, "HOWAYAH?" and then give Mr. Katt a kiss.

Do yourself a favor and give this movie a skip. If giant monster creatures/nature running amok films are your cup of tea, watch anything else besides this... you'll thank me, and even if you don't (you lazy thing) you'll at least have the comfort of knowing that you had more fun than I did. This movie bites, "Believe it or Not". Heh heh heh.

Carry on Carry on,

MN